With all the articles out there about the importance of customer relationship management, it's amazing to me how companies continue to ignore the effect of poor communication.

Case in Point

I received a direct mail piece recently from my health club. I've been a loyal customer for about 7 years, not because I think it's the best gym in town, but because it's somewhat convenient, they have classes I can't get anywhere else, and I paid a big initiation fee. That's not to say though that I don't keep my eye out for an alternative, especially considering all the mail I get enticing me to join other clubs. I could have written to them to complain, but there have been many times my complaints about cleanliness, broken hot tub, or lack of notice about cancellations have fallen on deaf ears. Yet I hang on for the reasons I mentioned. But I digress.

Tearing it Apart

I received this nicely designed 6"x9" envelope in my mailbox. The teaser read, "inside: a special opportunity for you to pass along the gift of health." Thinking that I had yet to experience consideration for being such a loyal customer and not reading the teaser as carefully as I should have, I quickly tore into the envelope. The, "...to pass along" should have been the tip-off.

The package included a letter, two "gift certificates" with envelopes and a promo piece.

The Letter
Thumbnail of Letter

The letter opens with, "...thank you for being a dedicated member of [deleted company name]." Woo hoo. I'm going to get something for free to thank me for being such a loyal customer. They continue by telling me how I'm experiencing the benefits of better health. Now this is probably due to my commitment to going to the gym every week; not anything they've done. And yes, they acknowledge this by saying, "...your hard work is paying off." Wow, they really care about me.

Then the light begins to dawn, "And now, you have the opportunity to pass along better health to the people you care about." They probably thought they were being very clever with this transition which takes them into their pitch: "Right now your friends and family can pay the same monthly dues you currently pay and get FREE initiation and pay only a $24 processing fee.^*" I'm sure the copywriter was tearing their hair out over this one. Are you as confused as I am? Maybe the difference between an initiation fee and a processing fee makes sense to the people who work at the company, but $24 still sounds like I'm paying for them to set up my account. And why do I need to do that? And as I stated in the beginning, I believe the initiation fee is really designed to keep you from jumping ship.

What's the Big Deal?

The mass-mail nature of the letter required them to say, "...the same monthly dues you currently pay... ." It was either this or personalize the letter with an actual dollar figure, requiring them to use my personal payment data to achieve this feat. Either they couldn't merge the data or they thought the deal sounded sweeter without a dollar figure. Maybe they thought I had forgotten how much I pay. So I checked my credit card statement, then went to their website to see what kind of deal it really was. Looks like a comparable, regularly-priced membership is about the same price -- only $2.52 less per month. At right, you'll notice that they've removed the initiation fee entirely. It seems like everyone can be a friend or part of my family. I'm not feeling special any more -- especially since they squeezed in the, "$24 processing fee." And yes, according to the letter's small print, your friends and family have to pay first and last too.

Gift Certificates

So now you're supposed to pass along these gift certificates with the nifty envelopes, but lousy offer, to your friends and family. As if I'm going to use them to pretend I'm giving something of value to them. Hey forget buying a gift this year, just give your best friend one of these! The company is basically asking you to do their marketing work for them, with no consideration given to you. I don't know about you, but I try really hard not to work for nothing. 

Who's the Biggest Loser?

I love the promo piece they included, positioned as a benefit in the P.S. of the letter, "Right now, you and your friends can take the first step towards better achieving your fitness goals. Pass along the enclosed flyer on our Biggest Loser personal training programs."  Did they include any incentive to try their personal training? No. They must have thought that the original deal was just too good. Think again. You've already pissed me off; do you think I'm going to be interested in making additional purchases from you? And of course, this piece includes a partner pitch to, "...watch all-new episodes TUESDAYS 8:00/7:00c on NBC." Bet they cut a good deal with the network for this trade.

What really pisses me off about this whole thing?

Trickery: not only was I duped into opening a piece of junk mail, I was mislead in thinking they were really offering something of value. Talk about poorly managing your customer's expectations. Doesn't leave you with a good impression of the company, does it? The cutesy-ness of the gift certificates and matching envelopes really put the nail in that coffin.

No consideration: they asked me to bring them new business (from my personal network no less), and there's nothing in it for me. Where's my incentive and thanks, by the way, for being a loyal customer? And what do my friends and family get out of it? The least they could do is send me a free water bottle with their logo on it (heavy sarcasm). Plus, they wasted my valuable time opening, reading and of course ranting about it.

Make new friends, but keep the old: everyone knows it generally costs more to get a new customer than keep an old one -- especially when they're loyal. So treat your best customers very well. One thing I learned when doing tens of thousands of direct mail pieces for a huge corporation was how PO'd our loyal customers got when they heard offers made to potential customers that were better deals than the ones they received. Do corporate execs really think we're that dumb or are they just not thinking about it?

Environmental impact: what a waste of paper!

Professional Downer: this kind of stuff gives all marketers a really bad rap. 

What have we learned?

1. Don't waste your customer's time with marketing messages that only benefit you.
   
2. If you want something from your customers, give something in return, especially if you want to develop long-term, recurring revenue relationships with them. It's what I call the Give to Get.
   
3. Maintain your image as a valuable asset. It can lead to greater loyalty, increased referrals and future sales. Don't sacrifice it for short-term gain.
   
4. Try to quantify the PO Factor whenever you communicate with customers or set policy. If you don't, its impact will be felt in terms of lost trust, skepticism of future communications, lost add-on sales, and customer churn (in other words, they'll head for the hills once they get a better offer from your competition).

We all want immediate gratification. Maybe that's why promises made to small business owners are so enticing:

Build your business plan in a day!
Create a 1-page marketing plan.
Learn our secrets to success.
Pay me just $10,000 for all the leads you'll ever need.

You want to believe it, don't you? They make it sound so good. It's the business equivalent of "lose 30 pounds in 30 days." But, unless you're very lucky or have a rich uncle, it just doesn't work that way. The very definition of luck is, "when hard work meets opportunity." 

Making it in your own business takes work. Or a lot of money to pay someone else to do it. There are simply no easy fixes. Indeed, it's better to write the majority of your own business and marketing plans. They'll be more likely to contain your vision, and you'll be more in touch with how your business needs to operate. It's like doing your own taxes -- you really see where the money's going.

If you hire someone to help you with these essential documents, it's not going to be free or even low-cost. But, you'll save a lot of money if you do some of the work yourself. Then let the expert help you refine it. When your time isn't as valuable as their cost, then it makes sense to DIY.

A good example is when you need a contract. There are plenty of legal resources online that will supply you with templates. Start with those. Do what you can to customize them, then hand it off to a lawyer. If not, you're basically paying them to do the work that doesn't take as much expertise. Don't be shocked when you get a big bill. They're going to charge you the same hourly rate, whether that's to organize your papers so they can begin working or help you resolve a complex problem you couldn't do yourself without the training and experience they have. In short, saving their time will save you lots of money. The same is true for your taxes. Get all your paperwork together, then call the accountant. Business and marketing consultants -- write as much as you can. Do the research. Get your ducks in a row. Then meet with the expert. You get the idea. Sure, they'll probably charge you a lot per hour, but the idea is to make those hours count.

You probably didn't want to hear all this. The easy fix is just so enticing. But if you really love what you do and you're excited about your business, much of it won't feel like work. And the more you do yourself, the better you'll understand what it takes to be successful in your business.